It’s a fact of life that we are all going to make mistakes. It’s a part of growing up, of the learning experience and of recognising where we can change and improve.
Those moments where we have thought “Oh, I’ll never do that again” can be our greatest teachers if we can but revisit them with an open mind.
Start with honesty. Now whether you say these next words to yourself or to someone else matters not right now.
Here are the words.
“I messed up”
Behind these words lay an opportunity to move forward with wisdom. To deny that you messed up is to deny the need to change or adapt.
When you take responsibility for your actions you take control of your destiny.
Next, ask yourself 3 questions to unlock new possibilities.
- How exactly did I go wrong? (Be specific)
- What could I do better next time?
- What has this mistake taught me?
Once we focus in on the mistake, it’s causes, and our thinking at that time, we can then change our focus to new patterns of thinking and behaving.
Finally, having done the above, now make a plan.
When you make a plan you stop beating yourself up mentally.
A plan is a positive step away from your mistake, you are subconsciously saying to yourself. “OK, I’m ready to move on with a clearer mindset and a higher intention” This makes it harder for you to mess up next time. Why? Because your awareness has changed. The more self aware we are of our triggers the more we are able to steer our minds and our behaviour away from repeating the same mistakes again.
Our society sadly sometimes sees mistakes with shame or embarrassment instead of accepting them as a part of life.
Take for instance any Hollywood actor. They have fame, wealth and adoration yes?
Yet how many times might they have to do a scene to get it right? We have all seen the guy with the clap board shouting take 7, while the director shouts action!
Some scenes might have to be shot 10 times, that means 9 have been wrong, they made a mistake. Another way of looking at this is to see that 90% of what a great actor does is wrong, is a miss-take. Just 10% is used the rest is discarded on the cutting room floor.
Is 90% of what you do wrong? I very much doubt it!
So if actors are satisfied with their abilities, even though much of it is wrong, why are we all too eager to ridicule ourself when we make a mistake?
Go easy on yourself.
If a past mistake still haunts you, please take action.
As a confession coach I make it my goal to allow you the safe space you might need to talk.
Booking a 1 to 1 session is a great way to begin taking responsibility for what went wrong. It’s a way of starting over again. Realising that a mistake is nothing more that a miss- take. You can begin again, you can take lessons from the past.
Remember, a mistake has the power to turn you into someone better than you were before.
Wayne, The Confession Coach